Well I think the title says it all. I haven't been keeping up on this blog, but I'm not sure how to get better. Oh well, I guess.
I have come to a conclusion about school this year. I'm being horribly lazy. I don't mean to, it's just that either I don't want to do it, and I don't get it done; or I try to get it done and I get sidetracked. I don't know what I should do to fix this, but I've got to find something, and soon. Otherwise, I'll have to drop a couple of my clubs. Just the thought of dropping one club sends a fist to attack and squeeze the life out of my heart.
One thing is certain though. I've got to find a balance between my social life and my school life. And I need to find it fast.
The end of the semester is fast approaching, and I've got a ton of work ahead of me. Happily though, I finished all my homework and the late work that I have accumulated. Now all that's left is to turn them in.
The sad thing about my clubs, is that I'm going to drop some anyway. I just don't have time and I wish I did. But now that I am deciding what to do, and someone isn't telling/threatening/ordering me around, I feel a lot better. If anything I feel much less conflicted. I do need to focus on what matters right now and what will help me through the rest of high school and through college. But it also has to mean something to me or else it's useless and meaningless.
And life without happiness and meaning isn't living, you might as well be dead.
Right now, the meaning in my life is to enjoy life and study hard, and with whatever higher power/entity who may or may not exist as my witness, I will try. :)
