The Curse of the Headphones

So I have this issue with my headphones. Normally, I can only keep them alive for about a month. This is because I get the ones from the store that are about $15. And they break so damned easy. So when I was in Mongolia I invested in headphones that go over the head. And they were amazing. They had really good booming sound and I could really tune out when I needed to. It's not really tuning out if you can hear outside noise, and these headphones blocked out all outside noise.

But today, the kitten chewed through the plastic coated wires and so now only one side of the headphones get sound, and the wires are too exposed for me to be able to continue using them. So basically, these headphones, which had been my ultimate favorites, are now ruined. I know that the kitten didn't mean to, but these were my favorites and they had brilliant sound. 

I just wish I could manage to keep a pair of headphones intact for more than a month.

And I know this sounds crazy, but my music is one of my only escapes. And when I can't escape, I feel like I can't breathe. I get tense and stressed. And so now that one of my best calming methods is out until I get a new set...I feel, well, tense and stressed. 

Gah... :(

...

I survived! Obviously, lol. :) I was just being paranoid.

Caution and Music

So, the Olympics in London opening ceremony was tonight. I watched it and I loved it! My favorite part was the mini Mary Poppins dance that they did. That just made my night. And then we watched British music through the ages, which was just stunning. I officially adore British music. Well, I love music in general, but this really showed me that I need to expand my horizons. Drastically. I can't wait to see how the Olympics turn out. I'll definitely be keeping an eye on the games this time around.

Part two was the time I spent talking to my stepmom. And that was just fun. We really can talk and it's nice to be able to do that. But here's the thing...Towards the end of our conversation we kept hearing crunches, like feet on leaves. But then I heard panting. So we packed up and headed inside, because we were sitting outside. All the doors got locked and all the windows got closed. And I admit it, I am slightly paranoid...Ergo, I'm sleeping with my daggers next to me tonight. And my flashlight. And a seashell to bludgeon any attackers with. Just sayin.

Part three...Was the realization that I'm useless at flirting of any nature. I can't even get sim guys to like me. That's just sad...Yeah. I realized that through playing My Candy Love. Am I a dork? Yes. Do I care? Not really, because it's kind of fun to play these games. I do prefer my boyfriend though. I can't wait till I can see him again. <3

And to all my anonymous readers, thanks for reading! x

Good Day, Good Night.

So today was great. Despite the fact that I got up bloody early. I got up early to go to the doctors office. For one reason might I add, to help my acne. But I didn't just get help for my acne. I got shots...And no one likes shots. So that wasn't fun. But the funny thing about this was that the doctor kept wanting to get me on birth control just in case I became "sexually active". It was quite literally in ever other sentence he said. He didn't seem to believe me when I said I wasn't planning on it for I while. And the hilarious thing is that I am the furthest away from ever needing that within, well, the next three to four years. But it will be at least three years before I consider something like that. Well, maybe two. Then the pharmacist told me not to use tanning beds when she was giving me my medicines. And I have not once used a tanning bed in my life. So that was funny. 

After that I went to work, and I got to speak Chinese to some Chinese students who were here visiting on a study program! It was fun, and humiliating too! :D Compared to their accents and speech, I sounded like I was two. 

Then I got home and was able to relax. I got to practice a bit of guitar and Dad let me try some of the beer that he made. Just a couple sips though. Especially after the solstice party a couple years ago...Yeah, alcohol...Not a good idea. :P Then me, my Dad, and my Bonus Mom all did Tai Chi. So that was nice. They were trying to explain Tai Chi to me, but I already knew all that they were trying to teach me. So I kept quiet about it, but they noticed. So we laughed. And I was supposed to be heading to bed. But, knowing me, I won't be asleep until at least one in the morning. Wells...Here comes boredom! Kidding, I'll find something to keep me busy. Hmm...I think my choice shall be...FOOD! It is time for a snack raid. ^_^

Bawling Like A Baby. Again.

So I need to stop watching dramas at two o'clock in the morning. Because that is the magical time where I bawl my eyes out. 

I blogged about the movie I watched about a week ago, Lifted. And this movie was pretty close to that level. 

This movie was Untamed Heart. And oh my god, it was the sweetest love story I've seen in a while. Which is why, when it ended, and ended like it did, I couldn't stop myself from crying. My heart literally clenched and I wanted to reach through the screen to change the way it ended. I don't want to give it away because I want you readers(mysterious and anonymous as you are) to see this film. It's worth every single miniscule moment that you give it.

Guitar!!!

My Dad gave me my first real guitar lesson today and I loved it. I loved that he showed me some chords, but not only that, he gave me a book so I could study on my own. It's essentially homework. And I really do think that's what I need in order for me to actually practice. But I seriously had so much fun. After Dad showed me the book, he left me on my own and I practiced strings and string changes for about an hour. It still sounds harsh to me, but maybe I'm not accustomed to the sounds yet. Well, we shall see. And like I've mentioned, it is a Gibson guitar. I'm going to restore it as soon as I can. Overall though, I don't think it really matters. And that's mostly because I'm loving it so much. :)

Blamed but it's Okay

So once again, there were computer problems. And like it's been lately, I've been blamed for it. My computer wasn't even connected to the internet, but I was blamed for the loss of mom's connection. Well, I can't do anything about it anyway. So why worry too much. 

Hakuna matata!

I'm back in Denver until tomorrow morning and I am very very happy. I just attended the wedding of my Uncle and new Aunt. It was beautiful, just like a wedding should be. A family gathering out by the river, food, and true love shown in vows. If I ever get married(which is HIGHLY unlikely), I want my wedding to be like that.

But not only that, Mom got our house and I have my own room!!! I've been getting everything set up and I am in LOVE! Do you know what I get to say to my sister now?

"Get out of my room!"

And after sharing a room with her for over a decade that phrase is really like a breath of fresh air. I love air. XD

Before The Goodbye-Lyrics

First off, I'd like to say that I am experiencing mass creativity sparks now. But it's not the kind I want. I want story sparks! Not lyric sparks! But, here's the lyrics anyway. :D

15 minutes between responses
And I can't even tell when it started
Hours ago
Minutes
Days
Time seems to blur
It's all a haze
Your responses deaden my heart
All that you're saying is that you don't care
That living away from me was like a breath of fresh air
Well I raise a glass to you
'Cause you played me like I was a fool
Teasing my heart in so many ways
Up and down
Everyday
If I had never told you what I felt
My heart wouldn't be shattered
Like it is now
And you don't even think that you did wrong
So I'm saying it in a song
Showing you your sins against my love
It's gone
I'm gone
I'm far away
Above the clouds
Above the lies
Before the goodbye I wanted to tell you this
My true love does exist
It's for the one who can carry my heart all the way through
And baby as much as I wished it
It wasn't you 

My Words- Poem and Potential Lyric Segments In Various Lines

My words
Some are not meant to be seen
My songs
Some aren't meant to be sung
My life is kept in files
It's not for you to see
A word to keep them safe
It's necessary
So when you tell me that I'm wrong
Wrong to have my space
Wrong to have my thoughts written but unseen
It's a place of hurt where I've never been
When you don't see how I see
When you don't see how I feel
I'm scared to bare my soul to you
To ever show my words at all
You're helping me to create a giant shameful wall
And though I do not wish to hide
I admit it's what I do
Because when I don't have my space
What else can I do?
This password keeps me safe
Keeps out unwanted scorn
Because my words are me
And I'm scared to have me torn

Privacy Problems

So, back when my sister and I shared a desktop computer, we had separate accounts. And she would not stay off of mine, always messing about in my documents, pictures, and programs. So I did the logical thing. I put a password on my account and made myself the administrator so that she couldn't get into my account no matter what.

Then I got my own laptop and stopped using the desktop. So of course, nothing happened with the different accounts anymore. And my sister barely used it anyway, because when we were in our apartment, we couldn't connect it to the internet.

But today, my sister was able to connect the desktop to the internet due to the fact that we got a house. Except for the fact that I was the administrator and the administrator is the only one that can mess with the internet connections.

So Mom calls me and she's pissed. She'd been trying to connect to the internet with the desktop and realized that she couldn't. She tried to get me to say my password, but here's the thing, I couldn't remember. I hadn't been on that computer in so long, so of course I forgot. So I'm trying to mediate the situation, calm her down, and all the while I'm at work and trying to watch customers as well as remember all my passwords.

Well, we finally figure it out. Thank god...

But she practically calls me a twat. She says (verbatim), 

"In the words of Andrew Moores (her friend); anyone who puts a password on their computer is a twat."

So did she, or did she not call me a twat? She did. Indirectly of course, but still...Argh. 

It kind of stung that she didn't understand that I just wanted to keep my sister out of my stuff, and that she called me an idiot for taking non-confrontational action. I understand that it irritated her, but it irritates me that she got mad at me because I wanted my privacy.

But that's how life is I guess. You get called an idiot because you want to have some things private. And do you know what?

That sucks.

Plans In Sections and Snippets...a.k.a. PISS XD

So, a lot's been going on...Too much and too little at the same time. I think I'll write it up in sections. 

Section One: Love Life

Zip, zero, nada. We talk occasionally, but nothing is really there anymore. And I think he's trying to make it that way so that when he does break up with me (yes, it's inevitable) it hurts me less. Well that's his theory and it's kind of bullshit. But, I could also be totally wrong here. So, I don't even know what to think about that. I know that I miss him and I won't get to see him for far too long. I guess I just wish I knew where we stood. 

Section Two: Family 

Things have been looking both up and down. Dad's doing so so much better. He's smiling more and I don't think he's in as much pain. We got a new cat, he's pure black with the most captivating green eyes. His name is Beauregard Ninja. But I just call him Ninja. My Uncle Drew is getting married next week to the sweetest woman I think I've met. I'm going to be glad to be able to call her Aunt. My Mom has all our stuff moved into our new house. My room's going to be a complete mess, but that's my own fault. I wasn't there for the packing bit. My little sisters are adorable and hyper. So that's normal. It's a bit of a relief to have something somewhat normal.

Section Three: Work

I has a job! And it's mind numbingly slow. I do get paid well, but I wish it had a quicker pace. But luckily, the people that I work with are fun. We shared our drunk stories today.

Section Four: Random Shit

I'm now watching True Blood with my Dad and step mom. Hawkward! But also fun. 

I'm going to be learning guitar on a gorgeous 1966 Gibson guitar. 

I have my prom and homecoming dress all picked out.

People are going insane over venues for Graduation. And I'm just to the point where I want to say,

"Screw it. I'm ditching and getting my certificate mailed to me."

And do you know why? It's because we've been debating it for, oh, A MONTH NOW! It's bat shit crazy all this arguing, and I'm a tad fed up. 

I had something to say...But then I lost it...

OH! 

Yeah, we need to plan 13 wicked senior pranks, because we are the most wicked class of 2013!!!

2013 BITCHES! OH YEAH! We graduate AFTER the world ends. Oh yeah, suck it! And we have lucky 13 on our side.

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I need to sleep. I am not nice when I'm tired. So goodnight world. 

So long, farewell! 

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xx     :)

Forget Me Not- Poem/Lyric Segment?

If I had a voice that made the angels cry

I'd convey my thoughts in a single sigh

All the feelings that I feel for you

Shining brighter than the ocean blue

But now it's time for me to depart

And even though it pains my heart

In my soul I know this to be true

Don't forget me

I'll never forget you

Happy Again, and Downtown to Boot!

So my Dad will be fine. I can't tell you how relieved I am. Apparently it's an infection, and so my  Dad is on antibiotics now. See, here's the thing. I'm not sure how much I trust the doctors anymore. They gave my Dad the wrong antibiotic. Thank god one of my aunts is a nurse and she told Grandma, who told Dad. So he's on the right stuff now. I'm glad.

I got to spend some time downtown with my cousin! And that was amazing. I've never really gone out shopping with my friends before, so this was special. Especially since my cousin is one of my best friends. I can tell her anything and she can tell me anything too. We walked around and shopped and ate bunches of sugary treats. Amazingness.

All in all, things are looking up. :)

Almost A Month...

Well, it's been almost a month since my last blog post. And in this last month I have been so unbearably busy. Well, for one, I went to Mongolia! And that was honestly one of the most life-changing experiences of my life. I tried to blog while I was there, but there was never anytime. I couldn't even find time to journal. I'll try to post some of my experiences in another blog, I'll post the link once I get some of it up. 

But, I also came back to chaos. After one day, I started working at my summer job again. And I tried to take on another one too. But the second one didn't work out because of scheduling. Oh well. I just won't be able to go into that Dairy Queen this summer...or ever. 

The scariest thing though is that my dad is sick again. A couple years ago he had cancer. And he got through it fine. It was hard, but we all managed. And now, he has a hyperactive thyroid. He got treatment for it and so that was okay. But now, he has a mysterious, I don't even know what to call it because the doctors don't know what it is. He's going to a center today to get it checked out and I'm just praying that he comes home with good news. The first time we went through something this scary was heartbreaking. And the second time around, it's even worse. It's worse because we just don't know what will happen. At least with the cancer we had a clue, but with this we don't. I'd think we'd get used to this, but we never did. We never have. And I just wish we never had to.