Sweet and Bitter

Well I'll start off with the good news, then the bad. 

Good was the tournament. I had so much fun! When I went up to preform my slam poem, I half thought that I would faint. My knees were quite literally jelly. But after I finished, people applauded! Well, even if it was a social norm, it wasn't half hearted. That was just really inspiring for me. I also met two new girls there, Sarah and Jacqueline. They were awesome! They helped me choose my poem, and were just so nice to me. It was also eye opening being around then, like REALLY eye opening. I didn't know how clueless I was until I hung out with them for just a couple hours. Yeah... I am beyond innocent. Or I was anyway, lol.

Bad was today. I found out that someone I knew died. I don't know how yet, but her death was like a ripple effect through out our entire grade. I didn't know her well, but I knew her well enough to want to cry when I found out that she had passed. This morning students decorated her locker, and most of our grade was just standing around the locker in silence. It was awe making and so sorrowful. I can't even begin to describe what I saw. People were standing, hugging others, holding their pain inside of crossed arms, and then those who were just crying. And it broke my heart. Yes, I did mourn her passing, but I told myself something. She was okay now. Whatever heaven she's in, she's not having to work her way through life. Life is hard, the afterlife isn't. She's going to be fine. I just keep telling myself that. Funerals aren't for the dead, they're for the living. It allows us to let go. But just seeing today, I saw the effect that one girl had. She impacted so many people, and they will remember her. That includes me. I just wish that there wasn't so much pain.