Right Back At 'Em

So I'm back in school. Whoop-de-do. No, it's not as bad as I'm making it sound. I'm actually having a good time so far. I've been seeing my friends a lot and just getting back into the groove of things. But I'm kind of scared. What happens when things start picking up? I honestly don't know. 

I've broken another pair of headphones. It's just my horrid luck I guess. 

And I don't really have much to say. I just felt like talking.

Just An Update

Just decided to update, and keep all of you mystery readers entertained. Because let's face it, I have no idea who reads this stuff. XD But I hope that it's enjoyable. 

So I've been getting my room all set up and it's been a long road. As of now I'm still taping up pictures and hunting down clothes. The pictures are all ones that I've cut out of national geographic magazines, so they're really pretty. But seeing as how most of my walls are still bare, I intend to use the remaining space for my own pictures and art. Lord knows that I want this to be MY room for as long as I have it. Which may not be for long, seeing as how I graduate this year. 

Which I have to talk about. I have no idea what I want to do after I graduate high school!!! I thought I did, I really thought I did, but as it turns out, I am a lost soul. Up till this year I was so certain that I wanted to be a forensic scientist and I'd had this dream for a couple years straight. However, now I have no clue. I have so many things on the list of things that I would love to do, because I don't want this to just be a JOB, I want to enjoy it. And I don't know what that is yet. I hope I find out soon. 

But anyways, I start school on(duh, duh, duh, dah), Monday! Yeah, and it's my first year riding the RTD on my own. So I am hoping that this goes, ahem, smoothly. Also praying that I get to school on time. And hoping that my schedule isn't too hard to change, and hoping that I can get a bus pass from the school in time for the next month. Seems like a tall order doesn't it. But no matter what, I just hope that I'm not stuck in any AP classes. This is mostly because I'll have plenty on my plate this year without the added curricular load. Add extracurriculars to that, I am essentially screwed this year. I have Glee, Debate, and Gym. And that's just what I consider essential, it's not everything that I wanted to do. Not to mention which I have no freaking clue if I have any CCD classes!!! So yeah. :( This will be a slightly traumatic year. But hey, it's senior year after all. And it's time to shake things up!

But not too much I'd hope. 

I still wish to survive.

Horses, Presentations, and Not Quite Heartbreak

This is turning out to be a much better week that I'd hoped. 

I spent Saturday helping out at the Aspen Lodge, for an event that didn't really happen. But I got to know people and that was fun!

Sunday had to be the best though. Not only did I get to do Tai Chi in the morning, but then I got to spend a full day at the stables!!! And guess what, it was AWESOME! I was around the horses for hours, petting them, sketching them, and I even got to go on a ride! Like I said, it was fantastically awesome. Then I got to hack into a laptop (COMPLETELY LEGALLY, I WAS ASKED TO) and made it so that they could access the administrator account. This laptop was bought used and they needed to be able to use it, and they couldn't without the administrator account. But needless to say, I was pretty proud of myself. Also needless to say, I screamed at the computer a lot before I figured it out. 

Today, I did a presentation in the Yurt/Ger about my Mongolia trip. And that went really well and was just wonderful. My grandparents came up to see it, and lots of the people that my Dad and Stepmom knew came. I was just happy that I was able to share it.

But as for the not quite heartbreak portion, I am now single. To be honest, it was a mutual thing. We both weren't feeling things anymore, so it's over. But I am ashamed to say that I was a coward, and I waited for him to confront it instead of doing it myself. But that's all over now. And honestly, I'm not sure what to feel like. I'm just not. But we'll see in the morning I guess. I need to change my phone's background now...But the thing is, I do hope that Chris and I are still friends after this. I don't want to lose this friendship. We were friends first. And I hope that's still there. 

Wow. Quite an eventful four days. Well, I guess it's five now. Wow. :D

Love Pains-Lyrics-Video Forthcoming?

I'm starting to realize that it's hurting

It's hurting that you're not talking to me

It hurts that you doesn't seem to care

It hurts that I don't know where we stand

I'm scared to even take your hand

The pains that are growing

The aches that are soaring 

The hopes that are dying

Why am I the only one trying?

Sometimes I wonder if we're still together

Because when we talk

It's like it's been forever

I see your name on my screen

I wait for you to speak

As I wait, you sign off

And I know that if I'd tried

There was a fifty fifty chance

That you would even say hi back

The pains that are growing

The aches that are soaring 

The hopes that are dying

Why am I the only one trying?

We said we wouldn't last

Secretly I hoped we would

I guess that was just my dream

I'm sick of just me trying

Of feeling like my soul is dying

So I'll take this knife of black

Sever the cord 

Take my heart back 

Late Night Treasures-Poem/Lyrics

It’s times like this that I will treasure

Late nights to watch the stars

Board games to make us laugh

Movies that make us cry

Bonding us together

It’s these moments I will treasure

For the day when you’ve gone

I will remember

The smiles that split my face

The laughter that leads to tears

The shouts of victory

Forever branded in my memory

When I look back

Or when I’m down

Or when I need you there

I’ll recall these times

And I know you’ll be here

Close to School

School is so close, I can almost taste it. It tastes like fried Parmesan chips, not too bad but also kind of acrid. But there's also a ton to look forward to. I have friends to see and go downtown with and a friend who's introducing me to new music this year. His name is Elias and he's in a band. They're actually not bad. I'm planning on spending more time out on my own and less time at home. We'll see how that goes though.

About a week ago I spent Lughnasadh with my stepmom, Dad, and family friend in our Ger(Yurt). We did a ritual in which we meditated and prayed and gave thanks for the harvest that the year had brought us. We did some knot magic and then we just drank wine and talked and ate. It was amazing. And it was the first time that my Dad had done something like that with me in the vicinity and it was shocking to me. He'd always been the atheist, the one who didn't cave to any religious ideas. And now, having him perform magic with us, it was amazing and powerful. At least in my mind it was. And I can't wait to do something like that with him again. 

Dad's going in for surgery on Monday. And I'm kind of sick of it. He's been to the hospital way too much in the past five years. I just wish he'd get better. I wish that hospitals didn't cost so much. I wish we didn't have to worry about him getting sick. But with all the luck that I'm hoping for, Dad will be healthy for the rest of his life. 

I spent the past five days with my cousin and we just got to hang out. We got to go downtown and shop and be girls for once. Or at least I did. 

My cousin's the only person I am 100% myself around. So it was incredibly freeing to be able to let loose. I never get to go shopping and just have fun with my girlies. And these past days I did. And I loved it. I can't wait to do it again. 

I need to start writing again, lyrics and stories. But I lost my muse...And I need it back, desperately. My readers are probably furious with me. lol