Painful

I talked to my boyfriend on chat yesterday, and we talked about some painful things. Like if he gets this Japan trip that he applied for, then he could be gone for a year. And if he went for college, that could be longer. I asked him if we could still make it work, because I did want to know what he thought. And he thought not. He said that there were complications, and that we'd be holding each other back, so probably not. And as true as I know that was, it still hurt to hear/see it. Immensely. But I knew this was a risk, and I am willing to take it. No matter how much I know it hurts, it is worth it. 

You know, I remember the first day I met him. I was sitting in American Literature class, and doodling. He was a new student and it was his junior year, he was a transfer. He came over and introduced himself. I remember being so shocked, because that rarely happens. I prided myself on being a wallflower, but nevertheless, he came over and talked to me. And when I actually looked at him, I felt an instant connection to him. I wasn't sure if he did, but I know I did. At that stage, it was a very early crush. 

I also remember in that same class, him talking to one of my friends. And the green eyed monster made an appearance. I was mortified at myself. I barely knew this guy, and I was already feeling that way. I shook it off and told myself that it was unlikely. Him and me, that would never happen. 

And look at where we are now. We're together, and it took almost two years. And that was mostly my fault. I closed myself off from things like that, like us. And I did it because I found out that some of my friends were crushing on him too. So like I always do, I pulled back. 

But over spring break this year, things became VERY apparent. He and I were practically joined at the hip, and many people asked if we were together. And it was always awkward saying no, because I was in a relationship at the time. 

And then, I think I've mentioned this before, we got locked out of the dorms. And that's when we both discovered that we both liked each other. And from that time, that experience, it led us to where we are now.

We're together, for however long we can be. And even though it may not be long, it's worth every second. And even when he leaves, because I know that he will, I won't regret a single thing.