Wow, I never thought that I would be like this. I really don’t want to be, but I guess I am. I’m not pushing Chris away, and I’m supposed to be with Zeek. Chris and I have been couple-y all this week, and I don’t think I realized it until Lhkava asked if he was interrupting the couple, and then Jason said not yet. Neither Chris or I responded, and I’m sure that’s because both of us have the capability to think of each other that way. I’ve had a running crush on Chris for two years now, and to be honest, like I said, Zeek and I missed our chance in China. But that’s not an excuse for how I’m acting. I’m a cheater. I hate to admit it, but I am. I didn’t want my palmistry to be right, but I guess it is. I’ve been contemplating break up plans for over a week and a half, even before this spring break started. And I knew this would happen over spring break, but I still did it anyway. I’m not resisting, and I should be! But I can’t! I like Chris way too much, and it hurts. Today before we both went to bed, we embraced. Not hugged, hugged implies under five seconds. No, we stayed like that for at least thirty. And I didn’t want to let go. Then when I walked away, it was like I was saying goodbye. Even though I know I won’t have to say goodbye for two more months at least. I don’t want him to go.
But most of all, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! I really need help. Nonjudgmental, useful, advice, girl talk type help. What should I do?
No comments:
Post a Comment