Yesterday was amazing, stunning, and almost like a dream. It was a complete spur of the moment type thing. Chris and I were talking on Facebook and he mentions that he wanted to go out to a park. And as a random hope, I said yes. So he came to pick me up and we went. And it was amazing. We spent the time talking and wading up and down a stream. We held hands practically the entire time, and he had to catch me a couple times. We saw crawdads and ducks. We fished quite a bit of trash out of the tiny stream, and sunk into quicksand a couple times. Quicksand doesn't actually kill you by the way. It's just annoying because it rips off your shoes.
Chris is amazing and I swear I'm falling for him hard. That was by far the best not really a date I've been on. I've been trying not to put labels on any of this, mostly for his sake. He's worried and a little scared with this. I can tell and he's told me a bit. He's scared of opening up, and he's scared of losing those who are close to him. He's had that happen before, and he doesn't want it to happen again. And even though I swear to him that he won't lose me, I can tell he isn't sure. If I can wait two years for him to even realize that we both like each other, then I can wait longer until he's ready. And that's kind of funny, seeing as how I'm a year younger than he is. But the thing is he is going to leave eventually. And just like what happened with my last relationship, it would be long distance. But the thing with my last relationship is that I didn't know if I'd ever see him again, and Zeek couldn't assure me otherwise. Chris could. He said, why wouldn't you? And I know it's vague, but it's also an answer.
And I don't know what it is about him, but ever since two years ago, he's always made his way into my thoughts somehow. And we were talking tonight, and he said that there were times that he did like me, but he wasn't sure how I felt. And honestly, I must have been a damn good actor for him not to figure it out. Two years, and I restrained myself because one of my friends liked him too. It does make me a little happy to know that he did like me. And even if we had admitted it to each other back then, I don't think the timing would have been right. Now, I feel like it is. We know more about each other, and he's inspired me to go to new lengths with my traveling and pulled me little by little out of my shell. Even Braunwyn couldn't convince me to do certain things that he has.
Today, we just talked on Facebook. We talked cars, which I think shocked him a bit. :P And then he told me kitsune legends. Which, I have to say was amazing. He kept building up the suspense, but it was worth it. The story was beautiful, and he said that he has a couple more to tell me too. And I honestly can't wait. I also can't wait to see the pictures that he's taken. Even though he said I looked fine, I am NOT photogenic. So I am interested to see what he can do with those.
Tomorrow is tomorrow. And a total mystery. What will happen will happen. Even if I do maintain a hopeful smile. :)And for the record, wading up and down a creek beats dinner and a movie.
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